giving in

went to the doctor today.

told her i've been having trouble sleeping. feeling isolated. stressed. anxious. she listened and nodded and asked some questions and then said exactly what i knew she'd say. it was almost like deja vu.

"have you considered harmony?"

i explained that i've been hesitant about medication. she said she understood but that harmony isn't like traditional antianxiety medication. it's "adaptive" and "works with your natural chemistry" and has "minimal side effects."

she said half her patients are on it. said it's part of a regional wellness initiative. said my insurance covers it completely.

i sat there for a long time just. thinking.

and then i said okay.

picked up the prescription on the way home. the bottle is sitting on my desk right now. small white pills. "take one daily with food."

sarah texted me asking how the appointment went. i told her. she sent back like five exclamation points and "i'm so proud of you!!!"

which felt weird? but also kind of nice?

i don't know. maybe everyone's right. maybe i just need to relax.

starting tomorrow morning.