Feb. 11th, 2000 01:33 am
still not working
two weeks on harmony.
sarah asked today if it's helping. i lied and said yes.
because how do i explain that i feel NOTHING? no change. no calming effect. no emotional smoothing. nothing.
i'm still anxious. still obsessive. still seeing patterns everywhere.
everyone else who takes it becomes... calm. even. content.
i'm still just. me.
maybe i'm broken. maybe my brain chemistry is weird. maybe that's why i'm the only person i know who seems stressed all the time.
called my doctor's office to ask if the dosage might be wrong. left a message.
still taking it every day. at this point i don't even know why. habit? hope?
maybe some people just don't respond to it.
anyways i just pretend its working. maybe everyone else is too.